A couple of months ago I got an email from my blogging friend Megan from Brassy Apple. Megan had a vision for a natural, true beauty movement called “I am Brave and Beautiful.” Since Megan is a fashion blogger, her email surprised and interested me. This vision was inspired by Colbie Caillat’s recent song and video called “TRY”. Have you seen it? Go check it out. It’s awesome. In a nutshell, Colbie is singing about how we as women should stop trying so hard to meet the world’s impossible beauty standards and instead take time to truly see ourselves for the beauty that we already have, both inside and out. Colbie sings to us, “Take your make up off. Let your hair down… Look into the mirror at yourself… Do you like you? Cause I like you…” It is a message I have heard before in the past, but usually from my leaders at church when I was a teenager, not from a beautiful Hollywood music star! Colbie’s take on this message is presented in a very moving, visual format. Definitely worth watching!
Megan decided to try to spread Colbie’s message by inviting over 100 bloggers from different blogging niches to share what they looked like without make up, along with a bit of their hearts. What makes THEM beautiful, unique, strong, or inspired to be better? What is it that helps them realize that maybe they don’t have to “try so hard” after all? With some trepidation, I decided to join in. It wasn’t so much the makeup free pictures that intimidated me, but the sharing of my heart. I have shared plenty of makeup-free pictures on Instagram, usually snuggling with my kids. If the bags under my eyes are bad enough I sometime put the pictures in black and white. I always feel like that helps camouflage my lack of day-to-day glamour. I could be wrong….. 😉 (Oh, and hey, are you following me on IG? Come see sneak peeks into my life and blog!) What was holding me back was that question: why don’t YOU have to try so hard? What did that even mean? What did it mean to others? What did it mean to me? And did I even want to share my answer?
I thought long and hard about how I wanted to answer that question. At first I immediately thought about my struggle with mental illness (you can read more about that HERE if you want to), but that didn’t feel quite right to me. It is a major part of my life, and it does affect how I see myself as a whole person, but something didn’t feel like a perfect fit to me. When I pondered on what people or experiences in my life had taught me the most about true beauty, that struggle did not win out. My mother did.
This is my mother. Here she is shown in her senior picture from high school. 18 years old, tan, thin, long shiny hair……what a babe.
In the eyes of the world, this is probably when she was at her peak of beauty, and who can blame them for thinking that?! She is truly lovely. But that isn’t the picture of her where I see the most beauty. This one is.
Probably not what you were expecting, huh? I can obviously see and acknowledge that 18 year old Mom was more photo op ready, but THIS mom, 35 year old mom, is the most beautiful woman I can imagine. She is a woman who is putting her love for her children above all else. She is a woman who knows that her worth does not lie in her outward beauty, it lies in her heart.
My mother was diagnosed with very advanced breast cancer at the age of 34. I have no trouble telling you that it scares me to think about that as a 32 year old mother myself. Last year I went in for a mammogram and I was a nervous wreck. After all, when she went in she was just doing it to appease her Nervous Nellie mother-in-law who had a strong prompting to take my mother with her to get a free mammogram, despite my mother’s family having no history of breast cancer. The first vivid memory that I have is walking into my parents’ room one morning before school and finding them sitting next to one another on the bed crying. I had never seen my father cry.
On came the chemo where our mother’s hair fell out and the bone marrow transplant that was supposed to last weeks and instead took her away for months after her body rejected her own bone marrow. She was blessed with excellent doctors, but she only survived that deadly turn thanks to a miracle from God. You can imagine how three little girls may have felt watching all of this happen. We were 8, 6, and 3. Not allowed to see our mother for weeks at a time, we moved in with our grandparents so that our dad could go straight from work to the hospital. Sometimes we were allowed to visit her for short time periods at the hospital. We stopped by on Halloween because we didn’t want her to miss seeing us in our costumes.
Mom came home to us on Thanksgiving Day. Grandma let us draw on and cut up sheets to make Pilgrim and Indian costumes to wear for her arrival. I remember jumping up and down at the door in my Sharpie decorated, white sheet Indian costume as my dad helped her carefully out of the car. She looked so fragile and so weak, but she was grinning from ear to ear behind her hospital mask. She was the most beautiful sight in the world to us.
Mom stayed bald for awhile. She was ghostly thin and then blew up on steroids. It was all over our heads. We didn’t know what to think, but we were just glad that she was there to snuggle at night. As was she. I knew that she had recorded our favorite bedtime stories for us to listen to while she was away for her bone marrow transplant, but it wasn’t until years later that I learned that she had also recorded messages for us to listen to on our 13th birthdays about the things that a daughter may want to ask her mother during that stage of life.
During her illness my mother and my father did everything that they could to help us feel love and comfort. One of the things that they did was make jokes about my mother’s changing appearance. To a small child, the changes in her appearance were by far the most alarming and meaningful part of our mother’s sickness. A small child doesn’t understand that a mother is sick when she has a migraine because she looks the same through their eyes. But when her hair falls out and her face swells up from steroids it is very, very scary. Which brings us back to this picture.
By Christmas things seemed a bit more normal to the little people of the house. Our mom was now home and ready to snuggle us after school! But she still looked different, which was a constant reminder that things were not all “ok.” Christmas morning my sister Laura unwrapped a Mrs. Potato Head toy. My dad laughingly said that it looked like my mom. Countless women in this world would have burst into tears and run from the room at such a seemingly insensitive remark, but not my mother. She knew that my dad was making light of a tough situation for the kids’ sake, so she grabbed that Mrs. Potato Head and posed proudly with her in front of the Christmas tree. After all, if Mom and Dad were laughing about her being bald, then maybe it wasn’t so scary after all……
I love my mother so much. She was such an amazing woman. I am sure that it was incredibly difficult for her to not only be sick, but to lose the outward beauty that she had formerly possessed almost without any effort whatsoever. She went from being one of those lucky women who can eat a whole pan of brownies and still be a size 4 after three kids to looking like Mrs. Potato Head. While her hair did grow back, her figure never returned like that. The bone marrow transplant had put her through menopause in her early thirties, and her metabolism and figure were never the same. I am sure that was hard for her. VERY hard. But, then again, maybe I’m not sure. I assume that it was hard for her because it would be for me! It has been very, VERY hard for me to watch my curls fade and my hips widen after each kid has been born, and I can only assume that my mother felt the same way. But she never said a word about it. I saw her go about doing good. I saw her being a loyal and compassionate friend. I saw her plan Pinterest-worthy parties for her kids before Pinterest even existed. I saw her devouring good books. I saw her serving in callings in our church. I saw her developing her talents. I saw her gabbing for hours on the phone to her sisters. I saw her driving carpools and cheering for us at every dance recital and choir concert. I saw her reading her scriptures and saying her prayers. I saw her cooking dinner, even though she hated to cook. I saw her gleefully decorating for holidays. I saw her welcoming our friends into her home with open arms. I saw her putting together the best care packages ever. I saw her caring for my grandmother at the end of my grandmother’s life. I saw her loving her husband and her daughters with every ounce of her being. I saw her battle recurring cancer for thirteen long years before she passed away when we were ages 21, 19, and 16. I saw her survive for her family’s sake out of almost sheer determination. I saw her living for the opportunity to raise her children.
I NEVER saw her frowning at her hips. I NEVER saw her close to the mirror examining her wrinkles. I NEVER saw her pinching the roll around her waist in despair. Never. I never heard her telling my dad that she felt fat, that she hated her body, or that she was looking old. To me she seemed completely without vanity.
She was an amazing, intelligent, accomplished, generous, loving woman. And, guess what? She was beautiful. Beautiful in the eyes of everyone who knew and loved her.
That to me is what true beauty means. It means being hard working, loving, brave, compassionate, and striving to be the best version of yourself. She was my mother, and she was BEAUTIFUL. She found so much joy in her role as a mother, and I think that her joy is what made her the most beautiful.
My mother was a remarkably happy and stable woman. I admire that about her so much. She was such a rock. She and I have been given different challenges, hers physical and mine mental, but I hope and pray that I have a shred of her strength inside of me. That I will be able to find the courage to fight on throughout my life and to find all of the joy and beauty that there is to be found in my role as a mother.
My mother is why today I have chosen to “be brave and beautiful” by doing my makeup-free pictures with my precious children. I had to work hard to get them here. I waited 1 year to get pregnant with the first baby and 2 years for the second, but that wasn’t the hard part. The hard part was the absolutely crippling postpartum depression that followed with each child. 19 months long with the first, 17 months long with the second. I am so grateful for doctors, medications, my husband, my extended family, my friends, and my faith, all of which combined forces to help me get to a place where I could be a joyful mother. I am not perfect, and I still have to fight every day of my life to try to rise above my emotional challenges to be the best version of myself for my family, but all I can do is keep trying. I am blessed to have a loving, supportive, and forgiving husband and children. When I was looking at these pictures I said to my husband “Wow….I look so tired in these pictures.” His reply? “Really?? I think you are glowing in them!”
What we see in the world around us may tell us that we need to be perfectly thin, tan, polished, dressed, and made up to be beautiful, but that is simply not how the people who love us see us. Recently I went shopping with my son. I was trying on clothes and feeling wretched about myself. I have been carrying around an extra 60 pounds since I had my children and lost my metabolism, and I can’t seem to get the weight to come off because of a medication that I am on which helps me stay in a good mental realm. I was on the verge of tears looking in the mirror at myself and thinking about that formerly-size-4-without-trying girl that I used to be when my son hugged my legs and said, “Wow, Mom, all of these dresses look so SO beautiful on you.” I hope that he always sees me through such loving eyes, and I hope that, in time, I can always see myself through them as well. As always, I am a work in progress.
So, without further ado, here are my side by side “headshots.” One with makeup, one without. Both me. And, in the eyes of those who love me, both beautiful.
{For more on my mother see my sister Rachel’s essay on her fight for life entitled “Worth Fighting For.”}
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What about YOU? Are you brave and beautiful? What is it in YOUR life that whispers that you don’t have to try so hard? You can join in this movement too by sharing what you look like without makeup on. You don’t need a blog—just tag your photo with #IamBraveAndBeautiful on Instgram and search the hashtag to see who else has joined in. ALSO, if you tag it with a second hashtag – #ColbieTRY we just might be able to get Colbie Caillat’s attention since she was the inspiration behind it all!
Megan, from Brassy Apple, and her friend Cobi of Peacefrom6pieces are the team behind this project. Their worldwide vision included creating their own video inspired by the song TRY. The talent of Robbins Creative made it possible for them to pull it off. You have to click play and see the beauty and bravery displayed from popular bloggers who live near Megan. (Not me, FYI.)
Don’t stop here. Get clicking around – this is a blog hop! Below are more brave and beautiful women bearing more than their natural beauty. They each have a little bit of their heart to share with you as well. Some get very personal. Some share stories. For some this was very hard to do yet they gathered their courage and did it anyway. We hope as you explore these posts you will feel the importance of this message and that the empowering effect that it has will encourages you in some way.
>>>>>>>Important info! Blog Hops often have glitches the first day. If the link has an ERROR, simply click on the HOME button for each site, or google the blog name next to the link, and you should see their brave and beautiful post there. Links will be updated as soon as possible.<<<<<<<<<<<<
1. BrassyApple 2. Peace from 6 Pieces 3. Is this Really My Life 4. Among the Young 5. Love Me Dani Marie 6. Sweet Charli 7. Kim Orlandini 8. XO, Ashton Tilton 9. She Calls Me Mama Leisha 10. Raising Memories – Canada 11. A Little Tipsy 12. Amy Cornwell 13. A girl and a glue gun 14. My Craftily Ever After 15. Maybe I Will 16. WhipperBerry 17. Paging SuperMom 18. All Things Thrifty 19. Ashlee Marie 20. The Project Girl
21. One Little Momma 22. Entirely Eventful Day 23. Diary of a Brown Eyed Girl 24. Tips from a Typical Mom 25. Utah Sweet Savings 26. Flats to Flip Flops 27. One Krieger Chick 28. What Meegan Makes 29. Simply Kierste 30. Live to be Inspired 31. HoneyBear Lane 32. Pretty Providence 33. Ma Nouvelle Mode – in FRANCE 34. MomEntity 35. Serger Pepper – in ITALY 36. Kiki and Company 37. Girl Loves Glam 38. Thrive
39. The Potters Place 40. Crafting in the Rain 41. Cooking With Ruthie 42. Delineate Your Dwelling 43. The Pennington Point 44. Bakerette 45. The Happy Scraps 46. Shannon Baird Photography 47. Tried and Tasty 48. Lionesses at the Gate 49. Fry Sauce and Grits 50. Lolly Jane 51. That’s What Che Said 52. Sugar Bee Crafts 53. Your HomeBased Mom 54. Happiness is Homemade 55. The Crafted Sparrow 56. R&R Workshop 57. I Should Be Mopping the Floor 58. Sassy Steals
59. Let’s Eat Grandpa 60. Being Spiffy 61. Sumo’s Sweet Stuff 62. Ginger Snap Crafts 63. Bless This Mess 64. Apronista 65. Dreaming About Someday 66. Frenchie 67. Tastefully Frugal 68. Four Marrs and One Venus 69. Your Sister Circle 70. Over the Big Moon 71. See Vanessa Craft 72. Infarrantly Creative 73. Family StoryTelling
74. Albion Gould 75. Life as Mrs. Larson 76. Tried and True 77. Play.Party.Pin. 78. Bite of Delight 79. Ink Happi 80. ObSEUSSed 81. U Create 82. My Mommy Style 83. Find it Make it Love it 84. The Contractor Chronicles 85. Novae Clothing 86. Mommy Makes Things 87. At Home with Sweet T 88. We Like to Learn As We Go 89. House for Five 90. Organize and Decorate Everything 91. Sassy Southern Gurl 92. The Creative Mom 93. Keep Moving Forward with Me
94. The Benson Street 95. Mom 4 Real 96. Sowdering About 97. illistyle 98. The Crafty Blog Stalker 99. A Fiery Red Life 100. Cupcakes & Crowbars 101. One Sweet Appetite 102. My DayLights 103. Restless Risa
104. Sypsie Designs 105. Vintage Mother 106. Like Mother Like Daughter 107. 30 Handmade Days 108. Queen B and Me 109. Apples by Ashley 110. Boutique Cafe – in CANADA 111. Just My Little Mess 112. Bombshell Bling 113. Sarah Tyau 114. Taradara Make it 115. Capturing Joy 116. Ivory Lime Photography 117. Jenkins Kid Farm 118. Free Time Frolics 119. Bella Storia 120. Dana Ohlsen Photography
Ready in join in?Snap, hashtag and share! Tag @BrassyApple and @Peacefrom6Pieces if you can too!
Also follow our Bravery and Beauty PINTEREST board for more inspiration!
brenda says
my face I so ugly even with make up that you all would be totally frightened to look at me without. thankfully, I have the Lord in my heart
Sarah Westover McKenna says
I am sure you are lovelier than you give yourself credit for, Brenda. Love to you!
McKenzie @ Girl Loves Glam says
Oh man! You made me cry! What an awesome example your sweet mom was! You are amazing!
Sarah Westover McKenna says
Thanks, Friend!!!! xoxoxo
rebecca lopez says
Wow, thank you so much for sharing that! You’re stunning both inside and out! xoxo
Sarah Westover McKenna says
Thank you, Rebecca —- so are you! xo
Chelsea says
Sarah, it was so good to hear from you! I love the dolled-up you, and I love the au naturale you! I’ve had a lot of fun with both. And I agree with your husband that you are glowing in those shots with your kids. It has to be possible to be tired and glow at the same time, because sometimes it’s only after doing something really hard (or in the case of having kids, while doing something really hard for a really long time!) that we have the kind of satisfaction and love that can glow.
Sarah Westover McKenna says
So true. Love you, girl!!!! 🙂
Crystal says
What a sweet and amazing post! Thanks 🙂
Sarah Westover McKenna says
Thank you!! 🙂
Sarah Westover McKenna says
Thanks, Crystal. xoxo
Kristen says
I cried all the way through this Sarah. It is so beautifully written. I am thankful for you, my sweet and beautiful friend.
Sarah Westover McKenna says
I am thankful for you too!!!! xoxoxo
Jenn says
Such a beautiful post Sarah! Your Mom sounds amazing and I am sure you have all of her beauty and strength within you. You definitely are glowing in those photos with your kiddos. My makeup is now streaking down my face from reading your story – probably not quite what you meant by being make-up free! xo
Sarah Westover McKenna says
Thank you so much, friend!!!!!!! xoxoxo
Your Sister Circle says
WOW! Fantastic post!! And you are gorgeous!! Love your curly locks and infectious smile!! We have loved being a part of this TRY campaign with so many amazing women!! FUN!! #womenneedwomen #hugstimesfive
Sarah Westover McKenna says
THANK YOU!!!!! xo
Laura says
What a beautiful tribute to your mom, Sarah. I think our moms are kindred spirits up in heaven. The description of your mom and her battle with cancer is so similar to my moms. Although I have fewer memories of all of it since I was only 8 when she died, I remember her looking positively glowing and happy in pictures with me and my brothers. She was amazing, strong and beautiful like your mom. I don’t know that we would have even known she was sick had it not been for the physical changes and all the doctor visits because she tried so hard to keep us from experiencing any of the bad parts.
You are beautiful inside and out. And your husband is right. You are glowing in your pictures. And you look so happy! <3
Sarah Westover McKenna says
They sound like the same person!!!!!! I am so sad for you that she passed so young!!!!! 🙁 Love you, girl!
Kira says
This was so beautifully written and truly heartfelt. It brought tears to my eyes while at the same time reminding me about so many important lessons as a mom. I love this post and I love the idea behind the whole movement! I’m always thankful to see these messages being spread in such powerful ways.
Sarah Westover McKenna says
Thanks, Kira! Have a lovely day! xoxo
Gina says
I’m sitting here balling while I’m reading this. I’m so sorry for your loss & going through that at such a young age. I can’t imagine.
Cancer is UGLY. Skin cancer took my mom from me last December. I didn’t watch her go through her treatments – she left us here in Idaho & a month later she was diagnosed. She didn’t want us to see her like that – they never thought she wouldn’t make it through. The next time I saw her – 1 year later, in a hospital bed with only hours to live. I’m not sure how one ever gets to a point of “normal” after that. We just learn to live differently.
Love & hugs – losing a mother is something that only those who have gone through it can understand. Wonderful post about her bravery & beauty!!
Sarah Westover McKenna says
Thank you for commenting — love to you!!!
April says
You inspired me you write about my mom, something I didn’t think I could do yet. Thank you. http://www.notquitewonderwoman.com/breast-cancer-awareness-month-october/
meg/brassyapple says
thank you for joining in and sharing so much! xo