Hi, friends! This isn’t a post with crystal clear pictures or a creative idea for your home or dinner menu. This is simply me sharing some personal stuff and a simple but wonderful idea that I got from my sister.
A month ago I was all jazzed up about my New Year’s Resolutions. I had some pretty lofty goals, as I am sure that many of you did as well. They are all goals worth making and striving toward, but they are also goals that seem rather daunting. Here is the list that I made during our New Year’s Eve Family Home Evening: Be better with budgeting and saving money. Find a better work/family balance. Improve my attitude about my trials. Continued blog growth. Spend more time with friends and less time at the computer. Teach my son to read. Go to bed earlier. Find more mental health stability. Make God a priority. Get healthier physically and lose 50 pounds.
Now that I read the list, maybe it doesn’t SOUND as daunting as it feels. But, the thing is, I know in my head all of the layers and details of those fairly straighforward goals. For instance: “Be better with budgeting and saving money.” Pretty straightforward, right? Or maybe not. In my head that means spreadsheets and calculations, piles of receipts, eating out less, no impulse buys for the kids or splurges for myself, etc etc etc etc etc. It is VERY overwhelming. And don’t even get me started on the weight loss goal. I’m working on it slowly but surely, but oh MAN I hate carefully monitoring what what I eat. Like…..HATE. I’m sure I’m not alone in that. But I need to return to a healthier BMI, so it is time to buckle down. (And lest you think I don’t really need to lose weight, let me assure you that the pictures that I share of myself are very carefully chosen and angled. Just so ya know.)
Anyway, mid-January I was feeling hopelessly overwhelmed by these goals and like a big, fat failure. And then I remembered something that I had seen my sister doing in her apartment long ago. She had a poster board on her wall labeled “Small Victories” (or something akin to that), and all over it were post-it notes with her small victories on them. I asked her about it and she told me that whenever she felt like she wasn’t accomplishing anything in her life she tried to think of the small victories that she had recently accomplished, and then she started writing them down and slapping them onto her poster board every night. By the time I saw that poster board it was COVERED with small yellow post-it notes. COVERED. Which didn’t surprise me a bit, because I think of her as one of the most remarkable and accomplished people that I know.
I don’t think we ever see ourselves and our accomplishments the way that others do. I am far, FAR too hard on myself, and I would bet money that most of you are as well. I just never think that I am enough. In my head I am not doing enough with my life, not doing enough for my kids, not doing enough to be a great friend, not doing enough to support and love my husband, not doing enough in my relationship with God, not thin enough or fashionable enough or glamorous enough. Just….not enough. But, you know what? I’m doing my best and striving to be better, and that’s good enough. Good enough for my kids, my husband, my friends, and even God. Every person on that list knows my heart and sees my efforts. So I have started tracking my small victories in order to attempt to see those efforts and appreciate my growth within myself. It’s not fail proof, but it is working.
Some of the “victories” that I write down are silly, some of them are very small, some of them are actually quite significant, and some of them are hard but important. I would love to share some of them with you now, just to keep it real. Oh, and speaking of “keeping it real,” would you like a peek at my bedroom? As you would expect, it is masterfully decorated, perfectly clean, and just a haven of peace and beauty…..
…..or not. Hahaha. This is me, peeps. The main floor may be nicely decorated and kept clean since it’s my dad’s house and he likes things clean, but this is the real me. Sad, but true. My sister’s high school bedroom. Clean, folded laundry falling on the floor, mismatched furniture from around the house, a hideous and faded butterfly bedspread from my middle school years that I found in the basement and threw on the bed because I was cold, some pretty sweet leftover hot pink decor from my sister’s high school years in the 1990s, and even an ugly framed poster that my dad put up when he got tired of my sister’s Marilyn Monroe poster. Hahaha. So, anyway, back to the small victories. Here goes nothing.
I must say, these may have been the hardest-to-accomplish victories of the week: No Chic-Fil-A breakfasts (why does it have to be RIGHT by the preschool???) and no buying Dr. Pepper for the house (where I guzzle it like it’s my job). Haha. I have problems. Clearly. 😉
You may notice praying on my knees being a victory. The problem is that my dad keeps the house so chilly at night, so I always hop into my bed and get warm in a hurry and then remember that I haven’t said my nightly prayers. Far too often I decide to pray lying there in bed, which wouldn’t be a big deal if I didn’t ALWAYS fall asleep in the middle of them. It doesn’t help that it’s usually 1 or 2 in the morning….which leads to the next picture.
That’s right, going to bed by midnight three times in a week is a victory. A rather big one actually. I have always been a night owl, but I think it’s time to face the fact that I’m not in college anymore and go to bed at a reasonable hour! Sheesh.
This one was the most important: made an appointment to talk about my meds. I have made it no secret on this blog that I struggle with major depression, especially after my babies are born. I have even mentioned seeing a psychiatrist in the past. I think there is a stigma around psychiatrists, but the truth is that lots of people see therapists and get a depression med from their doctor. This is just killing two birds with one stone. I used to do it seperately, but I am so glad that I see a straight up psychiatrist now because she is so much more expert on the mediciations that I need. She is still messing around with dosages and things right now, and I wasn’t doing so hot the last couple of weeks, so I made an appointment. That is a hard thing to get up and DO when you are in a bad place. But, I am happy to report that I am feeling optimistic after today’s appointment. Fingers and toes crossed for improved stability and contentment in the future!
Let’s end on a high: I RECRUITED MY FRIEND ANGELA AS A CONTRIBUTOR!!!!! EEEKKKK!!!!! I am SO excited. SO SO SO excited!!!! Her first post is this coming Friday, and I know that you are going to LOVE her. I have been SO stressed out trying to balance everything in my life, and I feel strongly that having Angela posting a couple of times a month for me is going to alleviate some of that stress, but she is SOOO freaking talented that it is ridiculous. I can’t wait to introduce her to you this Friday! YAY!!
As you may have noticed, many of the victory post-it notes that I didn’t point out mentioned blog stuff. Even the ones that didn’t specify blog work had it dancing around behind them, believe me. Choosing to play with the kids or snuggle instead of blog work. Going to bed early (instead of blog work). Spending time with friend (instead of blog work). Going to a yoga class (instead of blog work). On and on it goes. I love having a creative outlet, a community of support from my readers and fellow bloggers, and I love being able to contribute a bit of revenue to our family’s finances, but I was doing too much. I posted an average of 5-6 times a week during the holiday months, especially December. Lots of coordinating with brands, lots of projects, just….LOTS. I felt like I couldn’t sleep, relax, or enjoy my family. I was one big ball of stress.
When January came I promised myself that I would cut back. But then I didn’t right away. I had a hard time letting go. But finally I jumped on the “one little word” bandwagon and decided on my word for the year: BALANCE. I desperately need more of it in my life. More time to spend with my children, more time to read a good book, more time to snuggle my husband while we watch shows instead of having a computer in my lap at all times, more time to cook healthy meals, more time to be active, more time to spend with friends, more time to SLEEP. So I have decided to post an average of three times a week from this point forward. Some weeks I will be excited about certain things and post more often I am sure, and some weeks I may post even less, but three times a week is my new goal. And I can already feel the weight lifting off of my shoulders.
Thank you for your support. I appreciate my readers more than I can say. Thank you for taking the time to peek into a corner of my scattered, creative mind and for accepting me as I am, flaws and all. You guys are the best.
Please take the time to celebrate your small victories. Goals and resolutions are no reason to allow yourself to get discouraged and depressed. Just keep trying your best and you will make a little bit of progress each day. We can do it together! Just keep swimming, just keep swimming….. 🙂
Karen says
This past week was a big fog of depression for me. I’m impressed that you’ve avoided caffeine, fast food, AND went to yoga. I feel successful if I shower for the day, especially if it happens BEFORE I drop my daughter off at school! My poor husband tries to be supportive, but depression is a tricky thing to explain to those who haven’t experienced it. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I think it’s wonderful that you’re pacing yourself! I’m feeling a little inspired to actually pray on my knees tonight, and maybe jot down a couple items in the old gratitude journal!
Sarah Westover McKenna says
I’m so sorry to hear about your depression, Karen!! I’m so glad that this inspired you, and I hope that you follow through with that! If it makes you feel any less impressed, I only shower twice a week because I hate being wet and don’t sweat much, and I did drink Dr. Pepper….just not at home. 😉
julie freeman fischer says
I love your Dr Pepper not at home… Im taking water instead of the soda (mountain dew) in the car…
Jen L says
Ooooh, I like this idea. I juggle a lot (as many of us do) and it’s often hard to see “progress”… but celebrating the little good parts is a great way to remind us that we can do it because we ARE doing it (just, um, not usually all at once). And kudos to you for your victories!! 🙂
So are the post-its ever meant to be removed to make room for new ones? Or are they just layered on top of one another until they start falling off or something?
I’m also considering color-coding, but not sure if that would help or hinder… it might make me feel that I’m not making enough progress in a certain area or something… but then maybe that would be motivational… I guess I’m kinda thinking out loud here… 🙂
Sarah Westover McKenna says
I have no idea what she did with the post-its. She probably took them down when it got full. I think color-coding is a fun idea, but it could possibly lead to discouragement. I’m not sure… I know I have a lot more accomplishments in one area than the others!
Amber Price says
Love this post very very much.
Sarah Westover McKenna says
Thanks, cuz. Love YOU! 🙂
Cath T says
This is inspiring. I can relate to so many things here. You go, girl.
Sarah Westover McKenna says
Thanks, Cath!
Esther F. says
Thank you for sharing this online!
I also have been celebrating small victories, and I love how you are “making them visible” on the notice board.
I see so much good stuff on your board: all together they are mayor!!!
Esther
Sarah Westover McKenna says
Thanks, Esther! 🙂
Rachel Nielson says
These all seem like pretty big victories to me! You rock! What a great post!
brenda says
I am sure you already know this but there are wt challenges with the meds you take for your mental health challenges. I have also had a couple year long injectable medication that had among other side effects wt gain. this is depressing in itself so I am having so much empathy with the goals you have sent for yourself. the meds you take for depression makes you gain weight and you are having some depression from not being able to lose the weight. know that someone is empathizing.
Sarah Westover McKenna says
I did know that, Brenda. SO frustrating! That is one of the reason we are still messing with my dosages and stuff. Trying to find a more weight-neutral balance for me.
Kathy E. says
I love this idea of small victories! I bought a calendar-type journal last month and since I don’t like to journal, I am going to record my small victories. We really need to give ourselves credit for the good things we do rather than always whacking our heads for what we DON’T do. Kudos to you for getting the right meds and standing up for the need to see a doctor. Why should we be embarrassed to admit we need some help…that our bodies may not be wired “perfectly”??? I see one, too, and would never go back to the way I felt w/o meds. Life is too short.
Are Chick-Fil-A breakfasts that good? Maybe it’s a good thing we don’t have one nearby.
Sarah Westover McKenna says
Thanks for the support, Kathy!!
I eat the Chic-Fil-A chicken biscuits and always ask for honey to add. Yes, they are THAT good. 🙂
julie freeman fischer says
Thank you so much for this great idea… I shared!!! Find something to celebrate everyday!!!
Sarah Westover McKenna says
Thanks for sharing, Julie!
Laura says
You go girl!!! Wish I was there to go to yoga with you!
Sarah Westover McKenna says
You and me BOTH!!
Stephanie W says
i love this idea sarah! thanks for the reminder to recognize and celebrate any and all accomplishments! they ALL matter and help us progress and become better.
Sarah Westover McKenna says
xoxoxox
Amy says
This is wonderful – thanks so much!
Theresa Box says
LOVE this post! Thank you so much for being real! Sometimes it is so easy to think you are the only person on the planet who struggles with all these things… feeling like you’re not enough, comparing, and feeling like you’re failing at all your goals. This is such a great idea for looking at the little things, focusing on what’s really important, and stepping back to realize victories you may not notice otherwise. Thanks again!
Sarah Westover McKenna says
I’m so glad that you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for the positive feedback!! 🙂
Annie says
If you can limit yourself to one Dr. Pepper a week, it might be enough to be a weight loss diet in itself. I love Dr. P as much as you do, but soda, sadly, is really lousy for our health, and our waistlines. I know you can do it!
Sarah Westover McKenna says
Thanks for the encouragement!
Cyndi says
Loved this post! The small victories help us win the big battles! Good luck on your journey!
Sarah Westover McKenna says
Thanks, Cyndi! 🙂
Felicia says
Sarah,
Thank you so much for this post. This is my first time( but definetly not the last) time to your blog. It is so amazing to me how God delivers what you really need, when you really need it. I suffer from PTSD. I know that many people think that only returning soldiers have this disorder, but many childhood abuse victims suffer from it also. Depression and anxiety are my biggest problems. You’re right that people who haven’t experienced it, can’t really understand depression. This idea of celebrating small victories is such a huge “aha” idea for me. I really think it will help with that feeling you described of being “not enough”. Thanks again!
P.S. I can only manage two showers a week also. I just read an article about a man that hasn’t bathed in any way for 60 years so we’re doing pretty good comparatively. Take care of yourself.
Sarah Westover McKenna says
It means the WORLD to me to get comments like this!!! I am so glad to hear that I made a small difference in someone’s life!!! Thinking of you and rejoicing that I can find the strength to shower more than once every 60 years! 🙂
Danielle says
I find it ironic: I’ve hit two VERY low points with my own depression so far this year, and BOTH times I come across an article of yours that helps me so much! I’ve been trying to find ways to lift myself up a little bit, and this is just genius…thank you so much for being willing to share your struggles and victories with all of us. It’s SUCH a relief to not feel alone! I really wish we’d had more time to chill at SNAP! this year, but perhaps next year!
My small victories now on a quickly-thrown-together-but-still-works board: Drank no Dr. Pepper since Monday (although I feel I may die if I don’t have one soon), made some important steps for my blog, had a date night with hubby (redbox movie on our couch…it was awesome), and did a special craft with my girl despite having the flu. Like you said: may seem like small things, but they can be super important!!!
Hugs, my friend!
Sarah Westover McKenna says
I’m so so SOOO happy to hear that my posts are bringing someone comfort!!! Those victories sounds awesome to me, especially the DP. Impressive! 😉 FEEL BETTER!!!!! xoxoxo
April says
I hate it when the clean, folded laundry falls on the floor! I feel like we could be the same person, only I’m pretty sure I’m older 🙂 The late nights, thoughts always in the back of my head, inability to enjoy relaxing in the living room without the laptop…falling asleep praying. The list goes on.
I like small victories. Very nice idea.
Sarah Westover McKenna says
Nice to meet you, twin! 😉 xo